I’ve been a little absent here lately. Last week was so stressful for our family, and then this past weekend we moved into a new house. Right now we are cramped in a much smaller house, surrounded floor to ceiling by boxes and furniture that doesn’t fit. I feel overwhelmed at home. I look around and I don’t know where to start. Getting ready for the day and carrying on with our normal activities suddenly has a new level of difficulty. I hate clutter, I hate messes, I hate feeling unorganized.. so I’m struggling a bit.
Work seems so busy right now. Each day I’m pointed in so many different directions that I feel like I can’t put my focus on the things I need to and just get those things done. My mind can’t focus. I can tell I’m feeling frustrated in situations that don’t normally frustrate me. I’m feeling myself get aggravated with people that I’m 99% sure I shouldn’t be aggravated with. It’s hard to pull yourself out of that sometimes. Thankfully the weekend is near.
I’m feeling a little defeated lately. I struggle with wanting to feel accepted by others. When I’m not, I dwell on it and obsess over it and it drives me crazy inside. Sometimes I wonder what I need to do to have people listen to me or notice me or want to be involved with the things I’m trying to encourage others to be involved with. I hate to feel / seem / be desperate. I see others accomplishing so many things with the help of those around them, but I can’t get those around me to notice me or be involved. When I “complain” about it, or try to talk to others about it, I feel so stupid. I feel like I’m a child who’s whining, and then I decide to keep it to myself.. but that doesn’t solve anything either.
Just writing about it now makes me feel like some may think I’m being a whiny child..
I try really hard to be positive more times than not on this blog. I’m sure some people don’t want to hear the ways I’m struggling.. or my insecurities or uncertainties, but if I’m honest.. life is just like this sometimes. We get tired or overwhelmed and easy things feel hard for a little bit. Once I get some rest and clear my mind, I know I’ll be feeling wonderful.. about everything.
I’m going to take this day.. and probably the rest of this week to try and defeat the burdens that satan is putting on my heart right now, and hopefully next week I can jump out feeling great and motivated and valued and encouraged.
I hope everyone is having a great week.. and has a great weekend ahead