Is it too early to start thinking about goals for the new year? I hope not, because I am! I feel like I’m slowing coming to terms with what’s important in my life, and what I want to focus on. I feel like our life this past year has been exhausting. Not because Tristan is in soccer, and because Shelby and I are in school, or because I’m working full time while doing everything else. I think it’s been more exhausting because we have no goals or priorities or structure in our life right now. I often explain life lately as me holding on to the back of a speeding car, barely hanging on by my fingernails.
Maybe it’s not so much a physical exhaustion and more of a mental exhaustion.
Our mornings and afternoons with the kids have felt stressful lately.. they’ve felt chaotic and rushed and frazzled and not what I want. Not what I want for them. I understand that things can’t be perfect and calm all the time, but I do know that my reactions to things can be better.
I can remember growing up and having rough mornings at home (this wasn’t a common occurrence, but we are all human) and then having to go to school after that, still feeling all those feelings, and be expected to have a normal day and just “brush it off”. I want the last thing my children hear from me when I drop them off to be, “I love you, have a great day!”, in a loving voice. I don’t want to drop them off in carpool with an aggravated or sarcastic tone in my voice, after a morning of nagging and barking (we call it barking) at them. That just starts their day off on the wrong foot, and that’s nobody’s fault but mine.
Maybe my expectations are too high, but I want our mornings to not be stressful. I want them to be the start of a great day.. for everyone. The same for the evenings, I want our evenings to be the icing on the cake of a great day. I know that’s possible.
Another thing is, I’m becoming more and more aware of social media and devices and how much time they take away from what matters most. Shelby and I were talking the other day, and I mentioned that looking at my phone is a habit. If it’s not there, I still catch myself reaching for it. It’s all mindless, too. I’m looking at the same facebook posts for the 5th time, but I just can’t miss out on anything important, so I have to keep checking for updates. Am I the only one? Well, news flash to me … the IMPORTANT stuff is sitting right next to me.
Our lives are busy, and that makes it so much more important to take that little down time we have to cherish the things that won’t stay around forever. My “baby” is 4 years old.. FOUR! Time goes by too fast. I’m starting to realize, the older I get, that things just don’t last forever. I don’t want to miss anything important.
So, as I’m working on some goals for the new year, I’m happily reorganizing my priorities. I want to be more positive with my family.. even during the “stressful” mornings at home as we are rushing to get out the door on time. I want to be present in the evenings when my kids are in their best cuddly moods and hear all about their day. I want to have a routine that’s best for our family, one that we can squeeze as much quality time out of as possible. I want my kids to have great memories of their life with Shelby and I at home, because the next time I turn around they will be in college and won’t be at home anymore.
I’m so thankful that God convicted my heart of these things, especially before it’s too late and life has passed. As I get older, I miss the simple days we had when I was growing up. No smart phones, no facebook, no internet even! We spent quality time as a family, and I have so many great memories from my childhood! I’m excited to provide some great memories for my children as well.